As our team began work on this newsletter, we all said, “I’m not very good at being gentle.” So if you also struggle to be gentle—not to worry, dear reader, you’re in good company. And if gentleness comes more naturally to you, please send us any and all advice you have!

For me, gentleness brings to mind 1 Peter 3:4, which calls women to have a “gentle and quiet spirit.” While I do trust Scripture when it says this is pleasing to God, it also leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we live in a culture, both within and outside the church, that has historically oppressed women. So the question for us is: what does it mean to cultivate gentleness biblically?

Google defines gentleness as “the quality of being kind, tender, or mild-mannered.” However, the Bible uses it differently. In the context of Galatians 5, the word gentleness comes from the Greek prautēs, which more closely means humility or meekness. It’s the noun form of the adjective praus, or “meek,” that Jesus uses to describe himself in Matthew 11:29 as “humble and gentle at heart.” It reminds me of the sermon from last year on John 19 when Jesus stood silent before Pilate. Scofield talked about meekness, defining it as “power restricted for the sake of another.” Jesus Christ, the most powerful human ever to live, in the moment of greatest injustice, was challenged by a politician far below his own status, and he just took it. Power: restricted for my sake.

It made me wonder, have I ever restrained my power for the sake of another? Personal examples are few, but one does float to the surface. Years ago, a friend of mine texted me in a way that felt passive aggressive. I have a strong bent towards justice, and her text seemed unfair, stirring up all my anger and indignation. When my initial frustration cooled, I was able to ask God, “how would you have me respond?” In his abundant gentleness, he impressed this on me: “There’s nothing for you to fight for here. Be secure in the truth of who I am and what I say about you. Let me hold the weight of justice. Respond generously and care for this relationship more than your hurt.”

So I did. I answered her text as if there had been no offense at all, and the next time I saw her, I tried to focus on how I could love her instead of how she had hurt me. Amazingly, I lost all my bitterness and resentment somewhere along the way. I could choose peace, not so I could be right, but because Jesus was right. His power restrained in the face of the worst injustice means I can respond to a minor offense with a gentle and quiet spirit. Even if an offense is serious, and there’s room for me to speak and seek reconciliation, I should pause and ask: how am I using my power?

I wish I could say gentleness is the norm for me, but it’s so easy to default into frustration and entitlement. This month, let’s slow down, creating space and time for the Holy Spirit to produce a spirit of gentleness in us so we can ask God, “what would you have me do instead?” Be encouraged that gentleness is less about individual personality and far more about the meekness of Christ and trusting that he is able to transform our hearts and minds.

Whitney Maness

for the Ezer Newsletter Team

Take a moment to read John 19:1-16

With the recent Easter season still fairly fresh, it can be tricky not to feel a sense of repetition in these verses. However, I encourage you to read this passage as an echo rather than a repeat. Jesus has been brought before Pilate and restricts his power for the sake of another. His gentleness is strength, and he serves us, you and me, with this incredible strength.

Reread this text in light of gentleness as strength and reflect on the following:

• What are the consequences of Jesus’ gentleness in this moment? What might have happened if he had instead displayed pride and autonomy?
• What posture has Jesus taken to win over your unbelieving heart? How does your posture influence unbelievers and those around you?

Jackie Vest

for the Ezer Newsletter Team

• Before reading this, how would you answer if someone asked you to define gentleness? Has your view changed? If so, how?
• When was a time in your life when you practiced gentleness towards yourself? When have you practiced it with those closest to you?
• Inversely, when have you NOT practiced gentleness? Do you see any themes or patterns in your close relationships?
• If a specific person was a running theme in your answers, would you be willing to approach him or her gently and engage in a healing dialogue?

Jessica Sterling

for the Ezer Newsletter Team